Strange short story/novella. Written from reporters perspective, who is from a world other than earth (alien),it is in a newspaper article format. Personally it seemed like more of a journal entry. The main focus being on cloning. It describes the rise and fall of Jax, who sets off certain events in history by cloning himself over and over again. The second entry is a woman, who is initially against cloning, but personal circumstances make her uncertain. I have got to ask: Where is the writer going with this, what was the point? In what way was the reporter and his orign important? The writer needs to go back and look at the objective of the product he produced.I received a free copy of this book for my review.
The above 2 out of 5 stars review from Amazon is for Clones : Gangs & Such. A little scifi novella that is being reviewed through BookRooster. A company that gives out copies of your books for a fee to honest reviewers. Which is something I wanted. Honest reviews. And that's what I got.
Now the obvious thing to say was that I was angry at this review. Angry, at first, because he didn't get it. He didn't understand. And I paced the floor thinking about what I could say that would sway him. Dreamed about a way to make him feel foolish for his blunder. But it's obvious in the language that my story has been dismissed. The best I can hope for is that it burrowed deep into the back of his mind, and he is thinking about it. And it is slowly growing on him. But as a consumer I know better. That rarely happens.
Then I was angry at myself for putting something crappy out there. That I had failed as a writer. So I laid down in bed and thought about my work. If I really did all I could to see it finished properly. And I thought I had. I re-read the work and I got it. But then again, I am the writer. I should get it. It's all in my head. I've seen it all unfold over and over again. So I went through what I was writing currently. And I'm too close. And I can't affor an editor so I have to be ruthless myself. And I think I have the eye. But in the end I don't really know. I just get out what I have to get out and hope it connects with someone. But I say that now. Before it was miserable feelings.
And those feelings stayed with me through the night. The anger which mixed with sadness and self-doubt. It wasn't much fun. I barely slept. But in the morning I got up and started writing again. For a few reasons. 1) I've made art before. Whether it has been music or a drawing. And I've received reviews before. So my skin has thickened a bit. 2) Writing has been my go-to for making myself feel better. It always has been. I have stacks of journals all over the place filled with ideas and half stories. Usually written when I need to get my thoughts out. And 3) I want to do this. This writing for a living thing. I don't even want Rowling-level cash. I'd be happy with making as much as the first year teacher at the moment. But writing and putting it out there and people reading it is something I want in my life. And being able to do it more often would be great. That's what I want.
And I'm sure more bad reviews will be headed my way. Which would be great because that means people will be buying my work. But I have to remember that I can't let these words stop my own words. That I will have anger and dispare and self-doubt. Always. But that I must work through it. And past it. And onward. Or it will all build up like a dam and stop any progress. And who know? Somewhere down the line I might write something worth writing home about. And I will say "Hurray!" and then get started on my next book.
I read everywhere that you just need to keep pushing. You just need to keep doing what you are doing and at some point it will happed. I don't know how much I believe that. I can't be honest and say that this is the reason I will tell another story. It's not. But I don't think that matters. It's whatever keeps you writing. Whatever gets you motivated. I'm new at this game. Just started putting my prose out there a few months ago. So I would feel weird trying to make a post that would inspire you like that ones I have read on more experienced self-publishers. But maybe putting this post out there will help others who are just starting to publish. Or starting to write. Or starting to do whatever it is they do. And know that we are all beginners at some point. We don't come up roses right out. And I re-read that review and I remember that. Perhaps in a year I'll look at that review and feel lucky it was so tame. Or that I had a review at all! But in the mean time, I'll get back to writing my weird little stories and hope they stick to someone's heart a little better than this. And you should too.
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